so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
