It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
