You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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