i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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