I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
