make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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