I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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