New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize