32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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