you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
