Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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