Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
