You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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