The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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