i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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