So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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