butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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