This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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