I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
