His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
