Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
