I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
