my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
