True but thats because hes a fetus.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
