I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
