sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
