He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He? As in you personified your dick?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
