Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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