His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
