By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
soo... how was my night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
