Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
