FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The Olympian is in my bed
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
