If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
