No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my god I love twenty year old dicks
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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