The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
