Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
