I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
plz talk dirty to me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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