I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
