and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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