Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just found puke in my bra..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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