I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
