She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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