If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
