mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
