just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
