I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
