i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
