its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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