Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
