i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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