trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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