i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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