the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
do herpes really smell.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
