So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
