So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize