the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
