awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
