On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have tasted many bathrooms
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