you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
