RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
