You work out of a Hotel?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
